Friday, 16 March 2012

To paraphrase Shakespeare,

Its better to have loved and lost,
then to marry the one you love and nag him/her forever....

Bad joke but kinds of conveys the essence of reality. Isn't it so? Two people meet, fall head over heals (or heals over head in some cases), vow to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives, to live happily ever-after and then poof... Out goes the love, the fondness for each other, the chemistry and in comes nagging, fights, headaches... (not necessarily in that order). So what happens? How does the person for whom you fought with whole world including your parents, friends and your dog suddenly becomes the person with whom you are having most fights. (Pillow fights not included). 

At the risk of this first paragraph sounding like the cliched opening of a new ''relationship self-help book'', I stick my neck out and say "Hey I am not an expert of marriage, love or relationships''. But one thing I know and that is if you truly love a person (yes, in the cliched sense of the similar word, again!), then after all the fights, the disagreements, there still exist that spark which was there when you first met him/her and thought, hey, this is the one with whom I am gonna grow old with.

Now for an interesting fact. People who are truly soul-mates, they are alike almost to the T. I mean, its not a clear or visible fact but if you study their behavior minutely, the inner working of their minds is almost similar. Their dealings with people, their attitude towards life, its so similar. Observe some couples around you, who are married for a few years and seem happy too. It will be quite apparent. Its like if one of them is fond of finer things in life, the other will be too, although out worldly it seem that one is big spender while other is careful with money. Or if one is reserved, the other one will be too, while to others they may seem haughty.

Observe some people! It will be quite apparent. I have heard somewhere that after 15-20 years of marriage, couples not only behave but even start to look like each other, like brother and sister. Bizarre, but almost true. My grandmum used to say that the only relation which stays true and unbreakable to the end is that of husband and wife. Your kids will grow up and leave you to set up their own nest, your parents will grow old and leave you to be with God, you brother-sisters will be busy with their own families. In the end, it will be just the two of you. For better or worse..... Amen.

As for me, I believe in the axiom, "Either make him/her yours or become his/hers". Thats the only trick I know, for happily ever afters.

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