Thursday, 23 February 2012

What about your connection to God? Have you ever asked for anything? The answer must be undoubtedly yes! But has it been granted? Always? I have very unique relationship with God. To me, he (sorry gender-sensitive folks. can't imagine him as she!) is the perfect embodiment of friend, big brother, guide, philosopher all rolled into one. And yes, whatever I wished for has been granted. Always! BUT... and that's a big but. But always with caveats. Its like somehow there was a fine print which I was supposed to read but which I didn't obviously and then, well, paid for later.

Its something on the lines of a story read ages ago. Story of Devil's Paw, in which a husband and wife go to a place called Devil's Paw, where, supposedly wishes are granted. They wish for money. When they come back, they find out that their only son has died in a road accident and they are the sole owners of a hefty insurance policy. Scary. It is. Has something like this happened to you too? When you wished for something and that 'something' is granted to you but only at the cost of something else.

It has happened to me. Twice. I wished, got what I wanted, lost someone... both times. Then I wizened up. Or so I thought! (How can anyone consider oneself to be wiser than God in first place?) I wished once more, adding a rider, that I won't give anything or anyone in trade. My wish got granted again, twice again. Both times with a 'conditions apply' written somewhere in a corner. For first wish, I lost my peace of mind and for second... time of my loved ones. 

Now I have truly wizened up and stopped asking for anything. I only pray and say thanks for all the wonderful persons in my life, for many blissful hours spent with my family which alas, I did not cherish before, while I was living them. Now that those people are no more, I regret not doing enough for them when they were alive. 

How can people say that they don't regret anything in their life? That they wouldn't change anything in their lives if given a second chance. Is anyone so perfect? I, for myself know that I would change a lot of things if given a second chance. Somethings, some people I would like to erase completely, while for some, I haven't done simply enough. How I would cherish them now, if given a second chance. Truly, you know the true worth of someone only when they are no longer with you. Thank you God. For everything.

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